A Story of Anxiety

In life, as my 30 years have shown me, the main story is between the lines.  And the sooner you can figure out how to manage what is between the lines, the faster you can get back to enjoying the ride.  Such is the story of our lives lately.  You see, when G joined the Army, we were prepared for a large amount of flexibility.  Live where the Army sends, when they send, and be ready to go where they need you.  And bit by bit we evaluated that.  Do we mind living where the Army sends us? Collectively, and with the exception of a few hot places, we agreed that we would be happy to move to near anywhere.  Easy.  Go when they send us? Sure! We can be ready to go pretty quickly, and are pretty flexible.  As for being ready when they need G, we both agree ( I think), that this is not really a situation one could prepare for, or be ready for, but we both were committed to enduring it.  So…. seems a perfect match, huh?  And in a lot of ways it is…. until you meet Hurry Up N. Wait… the main boss of all things.  Because in between the lines of moving, and serving and living in different places, there are days upon days of waiting.  Waiting for reservations, orders, real orders, houses to become available, spots to open up…. and it goes on and on.  And it is now, between the lines, that we live.

G graduated OCS in May.  We were told 3 weeks to find out where we would be on a more “permanent” basis.  Which was already a bit of a stretch, since a lot of his fellow grads were getting orders left and right, and the frenzy was contagious.  So we moved to Augusta, with that 3 week date looming over our heads.  At the 3 week mark, we e-mail Hurry Up N. Wait.  No response.  Wait a respectable amount of time, and call Ms. Wait….. another week, huh?  OK… so we head off for a weekend of fun.  Tuesday comes… the day we should know! Wooohooo!! Yes, I still really did think we would know then! I really did…. what kind of dumb person am I ? Maybe tomorrow… gotta be tomorrow.  Wednesday comes, and to our surprise we don’t get orders, but Ms. Wait does pick up her phone! Progress! Until… she delivers a death blow of anxiety…. 3-4 more weeks! She also casually mentions that we probably won’t get any of our top picks.  Thanks.

So, here I sit.  Am I OK with moving anywhere? Yep.  Anytime? Yep.  If it were only that easy.  But it is not.  It is all in what happens between.  Expectant checking of e-mail, and wondering, mixed with complete frustration with a person you have never met, but who controls your future.  Which I realize is pretty dramatic, and she hardly controls my future– but in the hours of checking e-mails, and waiting for phone calls it seems that way.  Having already ranted in a previous post ( The Waiting Place, don’t how to put a link thing) I won’t get too involved in my necessity of this information.  For the sake of stating the totally obvious, I have not yet learned how to manage this constant waiting.  I do enjoy G being home with us, and realize a new place with a new job may take him away from home more… but, I still want to know.

Humph….

In other news, Jackson has better managed his anxiety and put his face in the water! Woohoo! I hope to take them to the pool later to test out his new skill.  He is just the cutest little thing, and would previously tell me that he ” just hasn’t learned to do his breaf, yet” matter-of-factly, when asked to try. 

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2 responses to “A Story of Anxiety

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