Am I too young for this?

It has come to my attention…that I am  bitter.

This may not be shocking to some of you at all. In fact, you may wonder how I  got this far without being more self-aware. I blame it on age.Since I can’t personally be responsible for aging, I don’t see any quick fixes.  When life deals you cards, which appear like cards you have already seen before, and you continue to receive them, it seems an  inevitable end.

And then, you are left with these symptoms of bitterness:

* When people say “everything is great” … in gushing exaggeration… I find it quite grating.

* When people say ” its all about attitude”… again… grating. Yes, I do realize with the proper amount of brain manipulation we can all make lemonade, but you first need to acknowledge you have some lemons.

* Overuse of the word ” amazing”

* Exaggerated descriptions about fellow humans…. you will lose me very quickly. We all have our faults, and I appreciate that you appreciate these people ( spouses, parents, waiters, hair dressers, etc…) but let’s keep it real.

* New-to-me people hugging. I don’t get it. It makes me feel like a strange part of your act to seem friendly.

* When people claim their region, state, religion or nationally is more ” fill-in-the-blank”  than any other region, state, religion or nationality. The North is not more stand-offish/rude/pushy. The South is not more hospitable/friendly/gentle. It simply isn’t so ( this can also imply all sorts of political and racial ramifications…which you can go ahead and assume I am not on board with either). We are all just people, people.

Ok…. whoa…need to stop here. But you see what I mean. This is a problem.

And before you think…”sheesh, relax Brittany!” Let me be clear… .

This doesn’t cause me to want to separate from people, but merely highlights my differences in thought.  For example:

Non-bitter person speaking( or bitter person masking their bitterness, AH! stop!): This is the best day ever!

me: ( hmmm…why don’t I ever think ” this is the best day ever!”) Oh yah?

NBP: yes!!! Don’t you just love life?

Me: ( hmmm…. well I don’t hate life. I like some parts of life a lot. I love some parts even. But nope, can’t just make a sweeping ” I love life!”) ummm, yah… mostly.

And there is simply only so long you can push your bitterness as being “realistic” before you just have to evaluate the situation.

If I am this bitter at 30, what is going to become of me?

Do you think people who just ” call it like they see it?” free themselves of such problems? Or just find more to be bitter about?


4 responses to “Am I too young for this?

  • diane Kramer

    no your not bitter ur just a army wife!

  • Heather @Critter Chronicles

    I think it’s a personality thing. I make fun of my mom all the time for only being able to think in terms of black and white. She either loves or hates something; it’s either the best food she’s ever tasted or the worst example; you can either be healthy or sick, but never in between.

    I’m very much a shades of grey person; I tend to look at things as having many different angles, hardly any of which are extreme. Even when I was giving birth I was like, “Yeah, it hurts but I can imagine worse pain”.

    So I know where you’re coming from, particularly on the hugging people thing. I barely hug people I know, nevermind total strangers.

    I don’t think you’re bitter… just more grey.

    • Brittany Godfrey

      I think there is a lot of truth to that. I find very little comfort in making absolute statements, so I guess it would make sense that I don’t care to absolutely declare any person, idea or day as being the best! Because it seems silly! There is always the potential for better, or at least I like to believe in that potential.
      I thought the same thing in delivery about pain ( nursing for the first few weeks seems to have some more potential for pain relief)… though, I will say it did give me one black and white thought, too! I remember loving delivery, because I knew at that moment, there was nothing else I should have or could have been doing. And there are so few moments in life where that is true.
      I am not sitting here and wondering what I feel “black and white” about…. the list is painfully short. Thanks for that!

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